Monthly Archives: March 2017

When you let go you let in

 

It’s just a bunch of thoughts
When we realize that all we are holding onto in our mind is just a bunch of thoughts, it becomes much easier to let go of them. When this happens, we become a receptacle for the new and the fresh.

Endless possibilities arise when you let go of the old to make room for the new
The possibilities for the new are endless. But it does take a willingness to stop holding on to what doesn’t serve us very well and look within ourselves rather than without, for the answers, we seek to our own burning questions in our quest for happiness, peace, and wellbeing.

We have been taught to always look outside for the answers
We have always been educated by parents, home, and media that the answer lies somewhere out there. But when we finally let go of that, great things begin to happen.

Insights that work for you don’t need to be earth shattering
They may not be as earth-shattering as some of the greatest scientific¬†discoveries of the century, but they can be very life changing for you when you discover something new, which I call insight; a sight from within. It’s where we get to see something new when we ironically stop looking.
There is what happened and what we think happened ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† We are often our own worst enemy when we get caught up in our thoughts about stuff. And the stuff we’re often worried about¬†is more than what it really is. When we get too much in our heads, we create this chasm between what actually happened and what we think happened. And creating this ‘explosion’ of what happened with the stories we embellish with our imaginary reactive mind, is where we create suffering and pain. Now I’m not saying that people don’t have stuff and real life issues. Sure they do. But what would happen if we realize that we are at the mercy of our thoughts which happens when we forget that we are the creators of those thoughts.

The gap between the impulse and the response
Yes, I know we have problems, big problems. But no matter how bad they are there is always the gap between the impulse and the response.  Let us look at Dr. Victor Frankl:

Dr. Victor E Frankl, the great Austrian psychiatrist spent three years in Nazi concentration camps, including 5 months as a slave laborer. ¬†His mother, wife, and brother were all murdered in these camps. ¬†After the war, he¬†wrote about his experiences in Auschwitz and Dachau and other Nazi death camps. ¬†In his famous book Man’s search for meaning, he writes:

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing, the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way between stimulus and response, there is a space. ¬†In that space is our power to choose our response. ¬†In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

Sure there are plenty of people who have gone through the most harrowing of human experiences, but this still doesn’t preclude them from framing their own experience moment to moment via their thought. That’s precisely what Dr. Frankl did and if you read his book, you understand that it’s what kept him alive.

I’ll¬†cry with you
This won’t, however, stop me from crying with you or anyone for that matter that has gone or is going through a tragedy. I’m not going to judge anyone who chooses to be upset, that’s part of the human condition. As long as we’re human we are all bound to be hit by life’s challenges sooner or later and we all cry from time to time. That’s part of the price we pay for our stay here on Earth. So, there is no need to beat yourself up when you’re down.

Good news! You are empowered to choose
The good news is that we still have the choice of what we want to think about in any given set of circumstances. You and I have the power to lift up our game just like Dr. Franklyn did. He not only survived the war, he thrived and I know you can too.

Great expectations can lead to great limitations in any relationship

 

Great expectations are not always so great
Great expectations are not so great when we are overly attached and so committed to them. When I operate with the expectation that you have to do something to make me happy, it’s often a recipe for disaster because you’re not always going to do it exactly the way I want to to be done. It’s not possible because no two minds think exactly alike, hence you’re not always going to get it exactly right the way I want it to be.

Form and Formless
In this conversation, I want to introduce you to the world of form and formless. The world of form is the reality you currently live in based on your thoughts moment to moment. The feelings you have behind the thought is what we call formless.

Separate Realities ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† Because we’re such different human beings, each of us lives our own little life. In the world of form, you can never be on exactly the same page as somebody else. You might be similar but you can’t be on the exact same page because in¬†my mind with the thoughts I create we have to be different. It would be such a great coincidence if we were creating the same thoughts at the same time and what are the chances of that happening? This is what we call separate realities.

But where can we be on the same page?¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† This is in the feeling of love. Because the feeling of love is formless, the feeling of connection doesn’t have any details to it. ¬†We can be in that same feeling and we can live in harmony with that same feeling. When you’re in a relationship you’re shifting between the two. ¬†If you’re in the feeling, you’re not in the form. And if you’re in the form, you’re not in the feeling. You can’t do the two simultaneously.

The expectation is very much in the form. ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†It doesn’t matter what the expectation is. ¬†People get stuck with this and they don’t like it when we say it, but in my mind, any over attachment to the expectation you have of your partner is going to put you back into that space of form which limits your ability to have the experience of the feeling.

So, it doesn’t matter whether the expectation is that my partner should love me, or an expectation that my partner should be loyal, or an expectation that my partner should be kind, an expectation that my partner should treat me in a certain way. Any time that you’re looking to expectation a certain way, you’re looking outside, you’re looking for the other person to create something in the relationship. You’re looking for the other person to provide something. And any time you’re doing that, you’re looking at the form, it will take you¬†away from the feeling because it’s hard to balance the two at the same time.

Either the ball is in my court or the ball is in your court. ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†When the ball is in my court, it’s all about me learning to live in a beautiful feeling and making life show up from that space. And when the ball is in her court, I’m limited to whatever she shows up with. And I totally used to live with the ball in her court. If I was upset, the ball was in her court, it’s her fault because she did it. And if I wanted to become un-upset, I would have to wait for her to somehow do something to change the feeling I’m living in.

Today, however, it’s like, why would I ever put the ball in my wife’s court? That would make a horrible life. Firstly, sometimes she lives like a crazy person, she’s mad, she’s not willing to see things my way, she doesn’t love me on my conditions of the way she ‘should’ love me, she doesn’t do things the way I want her to do them, I’d much rather go and do it myself.

In relationships, if everyone just keeps the ball in their court, it would be so simple for them. Sometimes people ask me, “don’t you want your wife to love you and make you happy?” But the reality is that she’ll never succeed, not a chance. Try to make me happy, good luck with that. It’s impossible. The only thing that can make me happy is the feeling I’m living in, that can make me happy. There was a time that I used to believe that my wife would make me happy. And my wife is the one that can make me unhappy. That¬†today however,¬†is not true for me anymore.

There are so many people that live with that misunderstanding and it makes for such a difficult life with so much hardship because how could she ever truly understand what I need and what I want? Even if she’s the most amazing wife, she doesn’t know what I need or what I want and what’s important to me. And the funny thing is that if I take care of myself, I can give her clues. If she wants to make a contribution to my feeling, she could try, but I would much rather look after myself. And funnily enough, when I look after myself, I’m so much more clued in and wise and know how to look after everyone else.

But if I don’t have expectations I’ll end up being a doormat!
You might be asking, “shouldn’t people have expectations and if you don’t have some level of expectation in a relationship, you’ll end up being a doormat? Your partner is just going to walk all over you.”¬†

I’m happy being a happy doormat
First of all, it’s not so bad being a doormat, you get to be of service to others ūüôā Why am I looking for this person to provide for me? Why am I looking to this person and feeling that they have to give me something? I enjoy relationships so much more when I have a way to give, when I have a way to be of service and when I have a way to provide.

One way street relationship¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† Children are a very much a one-way street in a relationship. You’re giving, you’re providing, you are very much the doormat for your kids. And it’s a beautiful doormat to be because I love being able to give to them. I love being able to contribute to their lives. I love the fact that they can rely on me and want things from me and look to me and I love to be able to be that provider. ¬†And that’s what I love in our relationship as well. I don’t look to what Shainy, my wife can give me. Anything she gives to me is a bonus, that’s nice.

I don’t measure what the other person can give me
Part of the relationship that I enjoy is when I can provide. When you see a relationship that way, you automatically lose your attachment to expectation because you’re not measuring or comparing, you’re not looking for that. I’m not looking for what has been given to me. And there is so much more joy in a relationship like that. I’ve seen in my own relationship with Shainy, as we deepen our understanding in this way, as my expectations have gone down, I’ve learned to enjoy giving more and playing that role. It’s just a different world with a different feeling and it’s just so beautiful to live in that reality. The good news is, it’s just a thought away. It’s within anyone’s reach if they’re open to letting go of attachments.

Love and good will is the glue to hold long term lasting relationships
When you’re stuck in the form, you become stuck in your differences which will always exist. When, however, you drop your expectations and approach anyone with love and good will, you’re in for the long hall in any relationship. It’s the only constant that you can have in common as its formless and eternal.

The balance between expectations and goals ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† Being that we all live in a world of form, we are always going to have expectations of all sorts of things. And that’s okay. It becomes not okay when we are overly attached to them. I might want to lose 20 pounds as a goal, and that’s fine as long as I’m okay even if I don’t lose it. I’ll still be okay if I don’t lose it and it would be great if I did lose that weight. However, the extent of my attachment/commitment to this expectation will determine the extent of my pain if I don’t get it fulfilled. So goals are fine, so long as they don’t destroy me if I don’t get them and I know I’ll be okay either way.

Expectations are just thoughts with a lot of heavy attached thinking to it. So, let go of the attachments to your thinking and you’ll have a wonderful life. Even though in the world of form, it looks like you’re being a doormat, I’d rather look like a doormat and live a happy life than¬†living¬†an unhappy life with so many expectations that will never get fulfilled to exactly what I want.

To further consolidate this please watch the video below

 

Happiness for no reason

Happiness for no reason
I’ll never forget what happened a short while after learning the principles behind a clear mind; It was an early morning around December¬†2014 and I was sitting in my office all alone and getting things ready on my computer for my work day and then all of a sudden, I just felt this rush of happiness flood me for no reason what so ever.

At first, I wasn’t sure why this happened. I know that I was completing my studies with my coach on the principles behind a clear mind at the time and I suspected it was because of this that I was feeling a little euphoric at the time.

Being hit with a rush of Joy
But what really happened was that my mind was free from all the previous mental clutter I used to hang on to and I became open to being present in the moment. The irony of it all was that I was just literally sitting and doing nothing that morning and just enjoying sitting in my office on my chair when I was hit with this rush of joy.

Appreciation of beauty around me ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† I’m elated to say that this has not been a one-time occurrence. ¬†It now happens frequently when I can just go for a walk and enjoy the trees in front of me and appreciate the Divine creations whose beauty I witness every time I go outside into nature.
Simple things in life become so appreciated ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†The most simplest of things like breathing and even blowing bubbles, (I haven’t done that in a long time), become¬†so joyful. Although I know I could do with an extra hour of sleep each morning when I have to wake up, I am so thankful, (although sleepy at times :-)), that I’ve been given another day to live and hopefully touch someone and make a difference in their lives.
What are we here for? ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†I’m so lucky that I can write this email to you and if it touches you, just tickles your Soul in some way, then I’m, elated at being able to help another human being, otherwise what are we here for?

I call this being present to the moment. ¬†I can only be here for you and this moment when I fully here without the extra worrisome thoughts that many of us carry in in this load called life. ¬†But life doesn’t have to be a load, it can be a joy, depending on what we fill up our minds with.

I’m not prescribing what you should think ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† Now I’m not telling you what to think. ¬†I’m just telling you the fact that you do think. If you don’t get caught up in the content of your thoughts, just¬†realize that it’s all just made up moment to moment and then you’ll¬†lighten your mental load and find happiness which is always sitting there in your Soul. ¬†It’s just bursting to come out if your willing to see beyond the mental clutter that we create with our own monkey minds when we get caught up in this illusion called thought.

No hard work needed, just an understanding of how life works ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†The sun is always behind the clouds of negativity and it will eventually break through without any effort on your part. There is no hard work needed here except for an understanding of how life works via your thought. The deeper you understand the nature of thought and the more of an embodied it becomes in your life, the more freedom and happiness you’ll experience.

Happiness is not acquired because it’s already in you ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† Remember, this happiness is not something you’ll acquire from reading more books, it’s something you notice that gently and quietly comes to the surface when you look in the direction of within rather than without.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this post. ¬†It means so much to me to touch the heart and soul of another human being. ¬†It’s a two-way street here – you get uplifted and I am fulfilling my mission to lift up another human being, one soul at a time. And then hopefully you’ll go out and do the same with other people you meet too.

Click on the video below to further consolidate this.

 

The Missing Piece in Relationships

 

 

Why is it that couples break up? Because they’re unhappy together. Well, you might be thinking, “great point Aron, and how insightful is this that I should even bother with this post?”

The incorrect assumption is that your partner is supposed to make you happy and then you’ll both live happily ever after. It works great in the movies but unfortunately, that’s as far as it goes. In real life, it‚Äôs a completely different story.

Now I’m not blaming anyone who gets divorced or breaks up in any relationship. But what I am suggesting here is that there might be fewer break-ups if we would realize where our happiness is truly coming from.

Happiness is coming from inside you
So, if your happiness is not coming from your partner, your friend or your co-worker or boss, where is it coming from? It’s coming from inside of you.

To be really specific – happiness and sadness and all feelings¬†come¬†from to us from Mind via thought in the moment. It’s kind of a technical definition but feelings come to us from Mind via thought in the moment.

What that means is that feelings don’t come to us from our marriage or from divorce or other people or different¬†situations. And I can tell you honestly that I’ve been married and I’ve been really sad and I’ve been married and I’ve been really happy. And that is in the same marriage to the same person.

I know people who have been divorced and have been really sad about their divorce and those same people have been divorced and really happy about the divorce. I’ve been among certain people and been happy with them and I’ve been with those same people and been sad with them. And I’ve been in certain situations and been really sad about them and I’ve been in those same situations and been really happy with them. ¬†The common denominator here is that the circumstances or people were the same but the thoughts and hence feelings were different.

People and situations are not the cause of our happiness and sadness
All of this is telling us that people and situations are not what really causes happiness and sadness. And if you think about it, this all has huge implications for your relationships.

Your partner can’t make you happy only you can.
If the people you’re in relationships with aren’t the source of your happiness and if they aren’t the source of your sadness, that’s got some huge implications. And one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from this is that you are the one who can make yourself happy or unhappy. Your partner can’t make you happy only you can.

Another lesson to learn is that I get upset because of me, not because of you and I get happy because of me and not because of you.

Feelings are always coming 100% of the time from inside of us
So, all of your psychological experiences come from Mind which gives energy to your thought and hence you¬†experiences happiness¬†or sadness. ¬†These experiences don’t come from outside of you and certainly not from your partner. Feelings are always coming 100% of the time from inside of us which includes happiness and sadness and everything else in between.

You might then want to ask, “if my partner is not making me sad and it’s me that’s making me sad, how do I stop myself from being sad?” But if you’re asking yourself this question then you’re kind of missing the point. ¬†The point here is not that you’re making yourself sad and how do you stop it. The point is to stop blaming your partner for your sadness and stop blaming your partner for your happiness because it’s not coming from your partner.

Your anger and sadness are not coming from your partner
Before you can even deal with the fact that you are sad, is to recognize that it’s not your partner that is making you sad. It’s not your partner’s fault when you get angry, even when they did something you don’t like. ¬†Your anger is¬†actually¬†not their fault. All the sadness, the hurt and the guilt you’re feeling isn’t your partner’s fault.

You need to take responsibility
Firstly, you must take responsibility to realize that your sadness is an inside job and has nothing to do with your partner. This is a very humbling thing to accept and acknowledge.

Once you’ve taken¬†responsibility¬†you’ll find yourself being able to be more respectful to others even when you disagree with them because you now know that your feelings are truthfully coming from yourself and not from ‘out there.’

You might ask, “how am I going to implement this? You don’t know my family. You don’t know what I have to live with day to day?” ¬†But these questions arise when you’re living an illusion because you think that you are scared and mad at the other person. But that is not the case. ¬†Fear just like happiness doesn’t come from the outside, it comes because of what we think is going on the outside. When you believe that your feelings are coming from the other person, it’s very difficult to come from a very loving and confident space within yourself.

Your happiness is not dependent on how they are going to react
However, when you know that the birth of all your feelings come from inside of you, not from out there, then there is nothing to be afraid of, except for the imaginary scenario that you are creating in your mind. ¬†Now all of a sudden it becomes really easy to know how to relate to them from a space of love, understanding, and confidence. This is because your happiness and wellbeing aren‚Äôt dependent on how they’re going to react to what you say but it depends on what you’re thinking in that moment on the inside of yourself.

When you speak from this space it’s like having a light shining from within yourself. ¬†You have this deep understanding of where your feelings are really coming from. ¬†In this state of mind, you automatically move into a deeper sense of being and live from a space of this inner security. ¬†It’s a bit hard to put into words but an extremely powerful space to live and be in. ¬†You’ll understand this more when you experience it rather than when you just read it in words.

You can’t change your partner but you can change your relationship.
Another important thing to realize is that you can’t change your partner but you can change your relationship. What I mean by not being able to change your partner is that when you are so close and attached you can’t really be that objective. ¬†I as a coach have facilitated changes in many clients and that’s because I’m not personally attached to that person which allows me to give them a space in which to grow.

It would, however, be very hard even for me to facilitate change people who are very close to home. That¬†attachment¬†and personal gain of them changing for me are what’s in the way. I’m not saying it’s impossible to change family members but as long as you are holding on to an attachment of ‘I’ll be happy when you change,’ it is very difficult to facilitate change from this perspective.

Part of the problem is the¬†belief¬†that you need them to change for you to be okay, for your life to be better. ¬†This is what’s going to get in the way of any possible change. The good news is that you don’t need them to change for you to feel better. Because feelings come from thought in the moment and not from your partner’s misbehaviour. Your feelings aren’t coming from the part you’re trying to change in your partner. You won’t feel any better when they change their behaviour. You may think you’ll feel better when they change their behaviour but the truth is you won’t in the long term because that’s not where feelings come from in the first place.

Soon as one excuse leaves, you’ll find other excuses to blame your partner
As long as you keep finding excuses on why you’re annoyed with your partner, once that excuse is gone, you’ll find plenty of others to blame your frustration on. When, however, you realize that your frustrations are not coming from your partner, they’re coming from your thinking in the moment, you’ll begin to settle down. What usually¬†happens¬†after this is that you lose all that heavy built up thinking you had about an issue, it all drops away and your relationship starts to turn around.

The only way to change your partner
Although you can‚Äôt directly change your partner by giving them an ‚Äėearful,‚Äô when, however, ¬†you live by the example of what it means to have a clear mind, some of it will rub on to those around you.¬† Have you ever walked into a room where nothing was said but you just feel great or really bad being around a certain person? It‚Äôs their inner being that you can almost feel and touch.¬† That will happen with you in a positive way when you live from an embodied understanding of a clear mind.

There’s no excuse for abuse but Рyou accept abuse from others to the extent that you accept abuse from yourself
This, however, doesn’t excuse any abuse in a relationship. Abuse is never okay. ¬†But here’s the thing on abuse; you accept abuse from others to the extent that you accept abuse from yourself inside your own mind. Everyone has this inner voice, this inner critic, and often that inner critic can be so harsh that it’s even harsher than a member of your family. This is because you can hear a criticism like “Aron, you‚Äôre an idiot.” The person says it one time to you and then the inner critic in your mind replays this person saying the insult over and over again. The person insulted me once but I’m reliving it repeatedly because of the inner critic in my mind.

The moment somebody abuses you more than you abuse yourself, you’ll instantly stop them.
When you learn to silence this voice in your head, you’ll no longer accept abuse from others. ¬†The moment somebody abuses you more than you abuse yourself in your own mind, you’ll instantly stop them. The moment you stop abusing yourself, you’ll automatically stop the other person from abusing you.

The relationship changes when you change inside yourself
And once the abuse stops, there are a myriad of ways that the relationship could change. ¬†You might just walk out on them, you might talk with them and all of a sudden because you‚Äôre no longer abusing yourself in your own mind, you’ll now be talking to them in an empowered way like you’ve never done before. Or there might be some other way that will come up for you. There are many ways in which an abusive relationship can stop being abusive. The dynamic of the relationship changes when you change inside yourself.

It is possible for a relationship to transform just by one of the partners getting this¬†understanding¬†of how we operate in the world. The more you believe you’re not good enough, the less you’ll value yourself, the harsher you’ll judge yourself, and the more likely you are going to accept abuse from someone else. The good news is that you are just one insight away from completely changing yourself and changing your relationship. ¬†The moment you realize that the inner critic and inner thoughts are just imaginary and you are the one creating this, your life will change in ways you can’t even imagine right now.

Life is to short and nothing lasts forever. We want to cherish the relationships we have now by coming from greater love, clarity, and understanding towards everyone we meet.

Summary

  1. Know where your happiness and sadness come from- they come from inside of you.  From Mind, which energizes thought and thereby create your feelings.
  2. Come from a deep space of love and compassion in yourself and then you’ll¬†naturally¬†be more respectful and know the right words to say on the situation.
  3. You can’t make your partner change. ¬†It’s foolish for you to believe you can. Accept the way your partner is now or leave them but don’t pretend that you can change the way your partner is.
  4. Although you can’t change your partner but you can change your relationship by changing yourself.
  5. When you embody the understanding of a clear mind within your being that you’re living by example, you can indirectly have an effect on your partner.
  6.  You accept abuse from others to the extent you accept abuse from yourself in your own mind.
  7. Life is short so you might as well cherish your relationships while they last.

I do hope this post resonates with you. ¬†If it does, then you’re really on your way to healthier relationships and a more fulfilling life.

Click on the video below to further consolidate the above.